Romney and Ryan Reveal “Plans”

By: Bill Whaley
1 November, 2012

Despite allegations of flip-flopping and cheap talk, voters can evaluate presidential candidate Mitt Romney based on his record, the record of his supporters, and his famed “plan,” leaked to the press. Just as Romney’s company, Bain Capital continues to outsource jobs from successful American-based ompanies like Sensata in Freeport, Illinois (Google Sensata), so we can also expect Romney to encourage immigrant constituents to “self-deport.”

The “Let me see your papers” crowd from Arizona is the model for “fixing” the porous border.

Your social security checks and Medicare reimbursements will no longer arrive under the R&R administration, according to memos. Obamacare will be transformed into Private Insurance Care and the U.S.P.O. is expected to merge with UPS.

For Taosenos the election of Mitt Romney will mean the end of the KCEC Broadband project and the privatization and/or sale of the Coop itself. (Coops are akin to Marxist (communal) enterprises and considered un-American by the R&Rs.) The self-sustaining earthship project of Mike Reynolds on the west side of the Rio Grande Gorge will be outlawed for being pro-self-sustaining, anti-corporate, and, therefore, anti-American. Even the Farmer’s Market, a communal enterprise dreamed up by cooperating individuals, drains revenue from national chain grocery stores and will inevitably be terminated.

More urgently, animal rights activists worry that the election of Mitt Romney will present a clear and present danger to family pets, especially dogs. “We don’t believe the family dog should be transported on the roofs of vehicles,” said Tri-State Animal Safety expert, Pete Romo. “The deregulation of vehicular animal safety rules means more cases of canine flu due to the exposure of man’s best friends to the perils of polluted airstream.”

Romney and his family are famous for traveling from Massachusetts to Canada with the family dog in a carryall on top of a station wagon. As far as we know, the Romneys have never owned a cat and associate felines with the pernicious effects of Planned Parenthood, a nonprofit family planning group that provides health assistance to poor women in America.

An R&R administration promises to turn back the gains of women—back to the days of Mad Men, when “office managers” and “secretaries” and “home-bound” wives knew their place. The right to contraception and Roe v. Wade will be overturned in favor of the rules laid down by the wise men of the Vatican and the Elders of Zion as old-fashioned religious practices—polygamy–replace political correctness.

Public education, which teaches reactionary notions like “equality of opportunity,” will end as charter and religious schools replace these sources of pernicious mind pollution and union organizing. The historic wrongs—the institutionalizing of class warfare–promulgated by FDR and 70 years of new deals, will be righted under Romney. As bankruptcy rules are overturned, debtors’ prisons will be re-organized under the “Infinite Accountability Act” (IAA).

Recently, the man pictured, San Francisco Giants’ Sergio Romo, who struck out a Detroit player to end the world series, claimed, as he says on his T-shirt, that “I just look illegal.” But nobody has asked to see Sergio’s  papers in the sanctuary city of St. Francis.

Where as residents of New Jersey and New York City have been promised FEMA assistance by big government representative, Barack Obama, born in Hawaii, but who came of age while living in Chicago, that program will end under the R&Rs.

According to reports, nobody knows where Mitt Romney “lives” or “votes.” Is he registered as a person or an alien?

After Jan. 21, inauguration day of 2013, Global Warming, the Iranian people, and Gay Rights are expected to be outlawed. Residents of New York and New Jersey can expect to feel the long-term effects of the Sandy tsunami, when the federal spigot gets turned off, according to the Romney Plan.

 

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