RICO Action Considered Against Movida Makers

By: Bill Whaley
14 April, 2011

Luis’s “Eleven” laughing all the way to the Annual Meeting. (Notice the man in the middle!)

According to Flavio, who was in the Duke City at a U.S. Attorney confab, the Feds are considering filing a RICO action in Arroyo Grande.

(The Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (commonly referred to as RICO Act or RICO) is a United States federal law that provides for extended criminal penalties and a civil cause of action for acts performed as part of an ongoing criminal organization.)

Apparently, the municipality, school system, utility corporation, land grant organizations, the banking and construction industries are all under scrutiny.

(The RICO Act focuses specifically on racketeering, and it allows for the leaders of a syndicate to be tried for the crimes which they ordered others to do or assisted them, closing a perceived loophole that allowed someone who told a man to, for example, murder, to be exempt from the trial because they didn’t actually do it.)

FBI agents mentioned a number of scofflaws in positions of authority, who have been given a pass by local cops and the district attorney–despite crimes against the thin blue line in Arroyo Grande.
Specifically, the Fat Man may be accused of masterminding a scheme to deceive the public in a Gas and Communication scam, while turning “loans and losses” into an “audited investment.” U.S. Attorneys and IRS agents discussed the fancy lifestyles and travel expenses of coop trustees–despite having “no visible signs of meaningful work” in an unnamed diversified cooperative.

“They’re taking money under false pretenses,” said one agent. According to investigators, the Fat Man or `eminence grise’ learned his trade the knee of an indicted pawnbroker, who turned car loans into profits on real estate, while masking ownership with shell companies presided over by family members. “He taught a generation of strivers how to shuck and jive,” commented a private eye.

A local school system, infiltrated by a once and future former gang banger, has also come under scrutiny as a possible gamer in a Special Ed stock and trade fraud game. “The governor of New Mexico is screaming for help,” said the Chief Attorney. “The Super has supporters in the Demo party hierarchy if you catch my drift.”

“Prominent community members are evading water and sewer regulations,” said the muni fraud expert.

Asked about local morals, a member of the Reformed Church and Protestants for Perfection remarked, “Some of the community leaders may be brought up on morals charges and charges of blasphemy. They co-habit out of wedlock and beget illegitimate children. The stink doesn’t just come from the piles of sludge at the wastewater treatment plant.”

A local anthropologist with a PhD in “Cultural Envidia,” Dr. Raoul said “Generations of intermarriage have led to complex behavioral problems and issues of loyalty: Do you support your sister or sister-in-law when push comes to shove? Do you support your prim or your bro?”

The post-colonial effects of the Hippie Invasion may have influenced present behavior among the indigenous cultures, Doctor Raoul said. “But we’d have to go back to the Conquest and Pre-Conquest roles of the original inhabitants—the dinosaurs, the one-toed sloth, and las moscas to get a handle on the DNA of the larvae.”

As one wag noted, “On page 13 of the Hippie Handbook Baba Ram Ram encourages free love and las drugas. Scamming for food stamps is like scamming off the government, taxpayers, and ratepayers. Hell everybody does it.”

“But that don’t make it right,” said the U.S. Attorney.

(RICO was enacted by section 901(a) of the Organized Crime Control Act of 1970 (Pub.L. 91-452, 84 Stat. 922, enacted October 15, 1970). RICO is codified as Chapter 96 of Title 18 of the United States Code, 18 U.S.C. § 1961–1968. While its original use was to prosecute the Mafia as well as others who were actively engaged in organized crime, its application has been more widespread.)

“We take our duty seriously,” said the U.S. Attorney. “We got Barry Bonds on obstruction of justice. We can get these guys.”

“Don’t bet on it,” said Flavio. “Barry Bonds might be a liar but he didn’t hurt anyone. In Arroyo Grande, the passive-aggressive contingent rules the roost. Everybody’s got dirt in the game. Only Pontius Pilate skates away with clean hands.”

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