Citizens Object to Coup by Cult

By: Bill Whaley
16 October, 2013

top-secret-300National Security Letters Sent

At a secret meeting of the National Citizens for the Restoration of Democracy and Sensible Taxation (NCRDST), the board of directors voted unanimously to censure the United States Congress and send National Security Letters (NSL) to representative leaders of both parties in the U.S. Senate, the House of Representatives, some U.S. Supreme Court justices, NSA mavens James Clapper and General Keith Alexander, as well as American oligarchs—the Waltons, Kochs, Buffet, and Gates and the elected members of Congress, who identify with The Tea Party.

To wit:

You have been officially censured by the Citizens of the United States for having violated the spirit and/or letter of the U.S. Constitution, Declaration of Independence, as well as the Patriot Act. You have 24 hours to resign, give yourself up, and liquidate your assets or you will be removed from office and detained for an indefinite period of time at an undisclosed location. You are forbidden from mentioning this notice—NSL— to anyone lest you receive a life sentence at a detention facility.

Signed:

Citizens of the USA

By cutting off the leadership of this hydra-headed political monster, located in Washington D.C., the Citizens say this NSL “corrective” (don’t call it a coup) will play out on the evening news as a Caveat to all elected officials: “Cross the people and you will hang from the cross.” Cruz is cross in Spanish and Ted will be the No. 1. Exemplar of Repentance an anonymous member of the NCRDST board said. “Many are called, few are chosen,” he remarked ominously.

President Obama, chafing under the restraints of his own NSL, during a Rose Garden speech said he would “be permitted to continue” as long as he treated censured members of congress as he had American citizens i.e. those targeted for torture and for assassination. In other words, no due process would be forthcoming for cultists, including his longtime allies, Pelosi and Reid.

“But let us put the past aside,” said the chief community organizer. “Today, I am announcing the citizens’ new agenda: a new start, a new concept of fairness, fairness for all the people— not just the oligarchs. Today, the Citizens Occupy the Capitol and the People’s White House.”

Though Obama gulped a couple of times over the last paragraph, eating crow, belching, and turning a deep shade of purple, he gradually relaxed as he ran through what he called “The Rebirth of the State of the Union.”

Below, Taos Friction summarizes the five-point plan. Given the technology advanced by consumer tracking, the NSA, and general use of barcodes, the programs will be easily implemented and administered. Simplicity and fairness are the watchwords, according to Obama.

“We might as well take advantage of the government’s total information program,” said the President, resignedly.

The Plan

First, a general Jubilee or forgiveness of debt will be instituted for students, consumer credit cardholders, home mortgagors, and those with debt for necessary automobiles. Banks and bankers will be taxed to replace the lost revenue.

Second, a national sales tax of 2% will be instituted on unhealthy products to pay for universal health care and social security. Obama quipped, “Don’t come to us looking for a break on potato chips, ketchup, and the latest iPhone ap. We aim to reduce obesity and increase health rates, redirect student attention to books.”

Third, a gas tax of one penny per gallon will be set aside to pay for automobile insurance. (Obama said New Mexico pioneered the concept of no-pay insurance.) Surplus gas tax revenue will be used for research and development of clean transportation alternatives.

Fourth, land use policies will discourage sprawl and encourage the reclamation of agricultural land, including the nourishment of water resources. By reducing dependence on dirty coal and natural gas via building codes, the USA aims to reduce its carbon footprint and slow climate change.

Fifth, a Citizens Conservation Corps will be instituted for the purpose of training and re-educating politicians, corporate finance people, and Americans who believe in the false gods of advertising, public relations, and conventional materialism. Obama quipped, “It will be fascism for the few, the elite, and the allegedly righteous.”

“Those who can’t get with the program can spend their time behind the high walls among other members of their cults,” said the President. “It’s time to get to work, save the planet and save ourselves. We Americans are no longer exceptional, just excessive.”

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