FOB Announces Plans for Broadband and “Eye in the Sky”

By: Chaucer Henderson
5 October, 2012

“Somebody’s joke today turns into reality tomorrow…”–Flavio Martinez

(Breaking News) Potential Broadband applications, aimed at cost savings for town and county government have been announced by FOB (Friends of Broadband), according to a press release. Due to fast download speeds and home—to-work connections, a FOB technology spokesman predicted that elected officials will be able to conduct video meetings from the home or workplace, decreasing travel costs, while keeping an eye on employees.

“Commissioner Larry Sanchez will be able to attend Taos County Housing Authority (TCHA) meetings via his smart phone or laptop computer, according to plans being unveiled next week. Remote video technology at the county commission chambers will allow commissioners (and KCEC Trustees) to travel in virtual comfort to urban nightclubs, while staying home in reality and conducting business from the kitchen table.

A new Homeland Security grant for drone technology, controlled from the KCEC Command Center, will allow both the Taos Police Department and Taos County Sheriff’s Office to reduce the number of patrolman when law enforcement gets the new “eye in the sky,” a model airplane size robot sometime next year. A law enforcement spokesperson said home burglaries should drop to zero or convictions, at least, should rise to 100% because of the new 24/7 digital imagery.

Mayor Darren Cordova commented, saying, “I can keep an eye on the Public Works Department and Casa de Cordovas from my office at DMC, thanks to Luis Reyes’ vision.”

Asked about potential layoffs due to technology, Mayor Cordova said, the local police department will reduce force through attrition. “Once the program is in place, we think a few geeks can keep track of traffic, home burglaries, and the occasional art theft. If they see something suspicious, they will phone 911. I’m really excited that we’ve been chosen for this pilot program,” said the Mayor.

Both Undersheriff Ed Romero and Sheriff Miguel Romero were out of cell phone range and couldn’t be reached for comment, according to an official at the TCSO.

UNM-Taos is currently working with the Coop, Town, and County to provide real time links to community television but, according to FOB, every member in the Kit Carson area will be able to watch everybody else by tuning into Kit Carson Broadband and the “Eye in the Sky.”

Taos County will be the safest and most closely watched community in the country thanks to Broadband and Drones are Us, said FOB.

Asked to comment, activist Gene Sanchez, said, “I’m all for it but the devil is in the details. I want to see the contracts.” Jeff Northrup said, he was preparing a protest sign. “We’ve got to balance safety and the right to privacy. But I think Commissioner Jaramillo will be upset.”

Taos County Commissioners Deserve Place in the Sun

While local naysayers, a conspiracy of Cave (Citizens Against Virtually Everything), criticized Taos County Commissioners on Thursday for announcing their intention to name the County Complex after themselves, Flavio, Taos Friction contributor, called for calm and reminded residents of the contributions by these public servants to the community at large.

“The Commissioners have been unfairly vilified for stubbornly upholding neighborhood traditions in the face of Anglo-Americano planning and zoning, rules and regulations,” said the longtime gadfly. “They have stood firmly against the LUDC, which undermined the Arroyo Seco, El Salto, Desmontes, Valdez, Arroyo Hondo communities. They said no to La Martina’s in Ranchos and upheld the purity and culture of the area surrounding St Francis de Asis, a sacred edifice and image long exploited by artists.

“These commissioners have refused to let staff disobey dictates and reinforced the historic customs associated with Jacksonian democracy at the downtown Complex, including the jail.

“If not them, who should have their names etched in Bronze—like the plaque that decorated the old county buildings (now demolished). The naming rights for the Complex should not be sold but retained and celebrated as conceptual and historic art.”

Flavio’s cry stirred up an ad hoc group of supporters, who are funding a countywide art competition for public art, including works of sculpture, paintings, and assemblage to commemorate current and past public servants.

Local wags said artists should commemorate famous events: “The Hug,” “The Gas Theft,” “The Cracked Posta,” “The TCHA Hummer,” “The Morrison Memorial Tower,” “Hogan’s Heroes,” “Leroy the Rabbit’s Escape through the Food Slot,” “Lovely Lorraine standing on her footstool like a Canary,” “The Slap” and a recording of “Butchie Denver’s Voice.”

If we forget the past, as General Santa Ana said, we are doomed to elect the same politicians in the future.

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